a return to modesty

This book by Wendy Shalit is absolutely fascinating.  I've found that I am just terrible at describing this book to people so rather than summarize it for you, I'd like to share some quotes.  However, let me just say that if you have any interest in living a more modest life you should definitely pick this book up.

"Modesty is a reflex, arising naturally to help a woman protect her hopes and guide their fulfillment-specifically, this hope for one man." p.94

"Modesty fills in the blank.  It answers not the crude how of femininity, but the beautiful why." p. 96

"A woman's sexual modesty puts her, significantly, in a position to be the ultimate worldly arbiter of a man's worth." p. 98

"How can we expect men to be honorable when a large number of women consistently send them the message that they do not have to be?" p. 105

"Women can't tell men how to behave-they either inspire, or fail to inspire." p.157

"There is nothing the matter with girls...They are a good invention of the kind, and the kind is indispensable and has never been beaten.  If you don't think so, there is something the matter with you.  When a race or a nation doesn't think so, it is an infallible symptom that there is something amiss with that nation.  There isn't any surer test of the progress of any people in civilization than its appreciation of girls." Edward Sandford Martin p.163-164

"Certainly sexual modesty may damp down superficial allure, the kind of allure that inspires a one-night stand.  But the kind of allure that lasts - that is what modesty protects and inspires." p.172

"...promiscuous and prudish women in some sense embrace the same flippant world view, which one might call the nothing-fazes-me world view.  As types, they represent two sides of the same unerotic coin, which flips over arrogantly and announces to the world when it lands: 'Ha! - I cannot be moved.' Modesty is prudery's true opposite, because it admits that one can be moved and issues a specific invitation for one man to try." p. 182

"The answer is that modesty simply cannot be 'just' a private virtue - a 'personal choice' - in a culture where there is such a high survival value placed on immodesty". p. 228

"But what would happen, I wonder, if women, instead of seeing their romantic hopes as 'hang-ups' to get rid of, instead of being ashamed of themselves for being women, would start to be proud of their hesitation, their hopes, and their dignity?  What would happen if they stopped listening to those who say womanhood is a drag, and began to see themselves as individuals with the power to turn society around?" p. 237-238


I hope that these quotes can give you a little feel for this book and I encourage every woman to read this book.

Post-it Phrase of the Day: "We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light"